I tried to come up with clubs whose names would attract mass memberships. This is what I came up with so far (subject to amendments):

• Swiss Oceanic Club
• Cheese Cutters Guild
• International Heterosexual Whale Doctors Association
• Parachutes and Marmelade Fan Club
• Notorious Guild
• Antarctica Cattle Guild
• Latvian Space Veterans
• Greenland Summer Resorts
• Jewish Anti-semitic League
• Emperor Nero Died For You Society
• Jesus’ Holy Defenders of Euthanasia and Abortion
• Casual Lycanthropes

(work-in-progress)

Check this out!

Pizza Hut in Bratislava, Drevena ulica, ever since 2,000 BC:

Pizza Pan in Bratislava, Drevena ulica, same place, in Aug-2008:

Is this legal?? Would Pizza Hut franchize be happy to know about this?

po dlhsej dobe som sa opat odhodlal Ti napisat. Citim hanu za svoju odmlku a mrskam sa prutim namocenym do kyseliny. Popritom recitujem litaniu na Belzebuba a ziadam svojho Pana o odpustenie…

Pisem Ti, pretoze citim potrebu predostriet zaznam toho, k comu doslo pred konklave, pred ktore som bol postaveny, aby som obhajil svoju pracu, svoje dielo. Uz samotny oponentsky posudok od doc. Cestnejsieho daval tusit, ze nepojde o jednoduchu skusku. Ocakavania, ktore vo mne touto cestou vzbudil, na samotnej obhajobe nijako nesklamal. Mozno by bola teraz vhodna chvila pre opatovne precitanie si daneho posudku…

posudok-recenzenta-viktor-pirsel

…aby vznikla lepsia kontinuita pre nasledovny pribeh:

Do saly konklave som bol povolany na usvite dna ako prvy ucen v rocniku. Orakulum mi vybralo otazky a ja som odprezentoval svoju diplomovu pracu, zatial co vacsina mojich spoluucednikov este v spanku za skoreho rana onanovala. Pred ctenym konklave som spustil meotar a vlozil zvitok so strukturou mojej prezentacie. Clenovia konklave sa na to ani poriadne nepozreli! V duchu som si poznacil tvare, ktore este netusili, co pre ne chystam v buducnosti, a co budu povazovat za zly osud… aby sa vo chvilke najhorsej dozvedeli, ze ide o trest…!

Doc. Cestnejsi meskal, dosiel az pocas prezentacie. Sadol si rovno do svetla meotaru, a ake to bolo svetlo! Jedovate paprsky sa zakusli do jeho odpornej pokozky a vypalili na jeho ohyzdnu tvar moje znamenie. Hnusak sa este zo zvyskov svojej tvare na mna zaskeril svojim odpudivym chrupom a zamaval mi na pozdrav, zatial co moje svate paprsky dokonavali skazu nenavidenej tvare.

Dokoncil som prezentaciu toho, co som vzdy povazoval za pravdu a cim som sa cely zivot riadil, co do mna vzdy vstepovali kopyta Belzebuba, ostre a sirou napachnute kopyta mojho Pana… i vtom klerik sediaci v strede a riadiaci tento smiesny inkvizicny proces nariekol muza po svojej lavici, aby precital svoj ortiel na moju prezentaciu. Bol to muz, ktory si vo svojej pyche myslel, ze je mojim Majstrom, ze je clovekom, ktory ma pri mojom diele ‚viedol’. Nikdy vsak netusil, ze ja mam iba jedneho Majstra, a ja som sa mu pri nasich rozhovoroch iba mlcky smial do oci.

Muz si odkaslal, i vyriekol svoj ortiel, ktory vsak nezodpovedal mojej pravde. Ten ortiel hanil a snazil sa potierat ocividne. Zbrunatnel som v tvari a v tej chvili som rozhodol, akym sposobom ten muz zomrie… Bez toho, aby som hnul brvou, vydrzal som falosnikov pohlad.

I klerik sediaci v strede nariekol muza sediaceho po jeho pravici, aby i on vyriekol svoj ortiel. I moj planuci zrak padol na muza sediaceho po klerikovej pravici, a spat na mna sa skerili oci a pokazene zuby Hnusaka!! I Hnusak zacal blabolat, ale nebolo mu rozumiet, lebo Svetlo sa stale zazieralo do jeho lebky. I chcel som Hnusakovi stanut tvarou v tvar, i vypol som Svetlo, ktore rozoziera maso neveriacich. Urobil som rychle gesto lavou rukou, aby som ziskal priazen svojho Pana potrebnu pre nasledovny stret.

Hnusak, tak ako som predpokladal, otvoril usta, a z nich mu zacal tiect hnis a odporny puch zalial miestnost. Ostatni klerici si zapchali usi a bolestou sa nad tymi lzami zvijali po zemi. Len ja jediny som mlcky stal, a bez pohnutia pozoroval tento smiesny vyjav.

Ked dozneli lzi, klerici sa este chvilu zvijali po zemi. Vrchny klerik sediaci v strede mal na hrudi nechtami rozodrane rucho. Rubase ostatnych boli roztrhane na cary. Hnusak uz bol nejaku chvilu ticho a jeho oci sa pichlavo zapichovali do mojich. Z jeho ust este stale odkvapavali zbytky smradlaveho hnisu, a Hnusak si svoje zosuverene pery horlivo olizoval svojim rozeklanym jazykom, akoby ani kvapka jeho nektaru nesmela prist navnivoc.

Moj Pan mi vsak posytol silu! A tak som tam stal, a mysel mi opat zaplavili prekrasne obrazy miest, kde pach smrti lezi nad krajinou ako tazky mrak pred dazdnom, a kde hriesnici placuc dlatom opracovavaju svoje hriesne udy…

A tak som otvoril usta, a z nich vysla jedina slabika, ktora sa niesla miestnostou a rezonovala v jej svetlych kutoch. Ozvena sa zniesla na klerikov, na Hnusaka, i na ostatnych ucednikov, ktori s otvorenymi ustami sledovali proces. Vlna moci sa preliala i cez moje telo, a ja som nemohol inak iba citit radost, ze moj Pan naplna tuto komnatu svojou mocou a bolestou zaplavuje vsetkych neveriacich. Pri tom pohlade mi z oci vyhrkli slzy a ako dve goralky mi sklzli po licach na zem.

Ked utichla Ozvena, vsetci mlcky, bolestivo a s ocakavanim hladeli na mna. Ja som vsak znova otvoril usta, a ako som tak urobil, vsetci sa prikrcili…! I Hnusak padol na kolena a uz nedokazal ovladat svoj rozeklany jazyk a hnis mu opat prudom zacal tiect z jeho rozsklabenej tlamy.

Teraz bol rad na mne, vyriect ortiel. Mlcky som siahol za svoj rubas, a vytiahol kozene puzdro, ktore som polozil na stol pred seba. Rozviazal som snurku, ktora drzala puzdro v jednom celku… i zadrzal som svoju ruku, aby som zvysil napate ocakavanie tych, ktori coskoro mali pocitit moje muky. Usmial som sa, a moju mysel opat zaplavili obrazy! Tentokrat islo o velmi intenzivny zazitok, a ja som sa zosuchol kolenacky na zem, ked mi Pan ukazoval Zakazanu Zem. S namahou som sa opat postavil, a rozbalil svoju supravu… na stol sa vysypali moje haky, srpy, hroty, cepele, noze, brusky, pilky, dlata…

Klerik, moj ‚falosny majster’, s vykrikom vyskocil na nohy a vrhol sa k portalu vychodziemu z miestnosti. Nepokusal som sa ho zastavit, vedel som, co sa musi stat. Falosnik v plnej rychlosti narazil na Barieru, ktoru vytvoril moj Pan, a s bolestivym vykrikom padol na zem, crty jeho krvavej tvare stale jasne viditelne na energetickej bariere.

Lahko si vies predstavit, co nasledovalo, Priatel moj. Sam si mi bol v tychto veciach ucitelom, Ty si ma naucil umeniu posobit bolest. Staci dopovedat, ze dielo mojho Pana som po niekolkych, azda prilis kratkych, hodinach zavrsil poslednym obradnym tahom mojej cepele.

Priatel moj a ucitel, citil som potrebu napisat a pravdivo vyriect tento pribeh, o ktorom bolo neprajnikmi vyrieknutych uz tolko lzi… Nech toto svedectvo nazdy ostane zapisane v nasich analoch!

Tvoj,

Priatel

Zeitgeist, the Movie

paranoia

1 : a psychosis characterized by systematized delusions of persecution or grandeur usually without hallucinations

2 : a tendency on the part of an individual or group toward excessive or irrational suspiciousness and distrustfulness of others

conspiracy theory

: a theory that explains an event or set of circumstances as the result of a secret plot by usually powerful conspirators

Source: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/

Have you ever wondered what Jesus had in common with Horus, Attis, Krishna and Mythra? Did you ever ponder why dinosaurs never found their way to the Ark? Why God always needs more money?

Part 1 of Zeitgeist the Movie, a 2007 documentary film produced by Peter Joseph, delves into the character of Jesus Christ, comparing his attributes, as described in the Bible to the attributes of other prophets/deities of the pre-christian (pagan) era. Quite „surprisingly“, these are to be found identical, being metaphores for astrological phenomena, such as equinoxes and solstices.

The movie draws constantly from one’s Well of Paranoia (yes, we all have one). Based on presentation of arguments and facts, it is not difficult to believe that Catholic Church (as an organization) is running it’s own show, armed with a Book written by Romans three hundred years after Christ’s demise.

Christianity is considered a „spiritual fraud“ on the mankind, and religion in general a „slavery“. In general, it is used as a tool to control societies and generate cash.

Part 2 introduces the so-called „9/11 Myth“ which works on the premise that 9/11 was an insider job. In other words, 9/11 was organized by hidden elements in the US Government in order to pursue their own agenda, which is to boost US defense industry and, more importantly, start-up the never ending War on Terror which will ensure constant cash inflows for the interested parties.

Evidence presented is once again cohesive, well-structured and persuasive. This topic is perhaps the closest to the observer of all presented conspiracy theories – it works with well-known and still recent event which has significantly affected the Western civilization.

Viewing this will at least make you think– is jet fuel so hot as to physically evaporate the whole plane? Can the plane hit the building so it collapses in a perfect example of controlled demolition? Is it really not important who provided the finance for the whole operation? Make your own judgement…

Part 3 elaborates on the „International Bankers“ conspiracy. This thesis explains that Federal Reserve Bank is about as federal as Federal Express. In fact, it is controlled by a consortium of banking families, including none other (lo and behold!) than the Rothschilds, Morgans and Warburgs. This would mean that monetary policy of the United States of America (which includes control over interest rates as well as money supply) is in the private hands of a privileged group of men (and, perhaps, also women).

These „men behind the curtain“, as they are called, are responsible for all major military conflicts engaging USA in the twenieth century – once again, to generate cash-flows.

Conclusion

I can definitely say I enjoyed watching every minute of this movie. It is not presented in the form of a paranoid babble – rather, logic, arguments and evidence is used to persuade the spectator. This movie must tap the Well of Paranoia of even the most sceptical viewers of us all.

There is indeed one big drawback of this document – the other side gets nothing to say to its defence. But as one of my friends has remarked – they had the change to express themselves for the past 2,000 years… 

You’ll get one of these little devils implanted in your tissue by Big Brother anyday now...

   

...or one of these...

 

 

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Ako to niektorym z vas poodhalil doktor Remoreto, ktory taji svoje skutocne meno i bydlisko v strachu o svoj zivot i zivot svojej rodiny v Kvetnici, ten Beh uz davno zacal.

Prvy rocnik Behu Terryho Foxa sa datuje niekedy na koniec tisicrocia, malokto vsak vie, ze Beh Terryho Foxa je len spickou ladovca, a ze za tym je nieco ovela viac. Preto by som sa rad vratil k tomu, co sa dialo uplynuly vikend v Bolonskych (ano, a velmi pravdepodobne aj v Milanskych) katakombach, a pred cim vsetci zatvaraju oci. Tieto oci vsak treba raz a navzdy otvorit, a to i napriek hrozbe, ktora z toho plynie pre zivot doktora Remoreta a jeho rodiny.

Som ochotny tu hrozbu podstupit.

Ako vieme, uplynuly vikend sa v Moskve odohrala krycia akcia, pri ktorej boli pouzite gumene projektily a rajsky plyn. Templari opat raz rozohrali brilantnu vysoku hru strategie a taktiky, kde uklady striedaju uklady a plany su len planmi dalsich planov. A ked sa pozornost vacsiny sveta upierala na moskovsku dramu, a pozornost zvysku na ostrelovaca, ktory len plnil prikazy Rytierov ruze a kriza, v Bolonskych (a Milanskych) katakombach a rozhodovalo o osudoch sveta.

V sobotu vecer sa v starobylych kobkach pod mestom odohral sabat, ktory trval az do neskorej noci nedelnej. Neslo vsak o obycajny sabat. Bol to sabat neobycajny.

Templari opat raz vzyvali temne mocnosti, aby im pomohli v ich ‘spravodlivom’ boji o udrzanie nadvlady nad svetom. Zhromazdili sa pri prastarej skale pod mestom, kde podla legendy matka vlcica kojila Remula a Roma. Pat knazov v ciernych rubasoch zaujalo pozicie v magickom kruhu, kazdy
v jednom rohu pentagramu, nakresleneho krvou nevinnych novorodencov. Podotykam, ze tito novoredenci boli nevinni (templari by nikdy neobetovali vinneho novorodenca).

V miestnosti spolu s knazmi, ktori cely sabat riadili, stali v ciernych kutniciach a so sklopenymi hlavami v uprimnej modlitbe dalsi prominentni clenovia templarskeho radu. Ked vosiel velmajster radu, fakle na stenach zaprskali. Velmajster zaujal miesto v strede pentagramu a odriekal modlitbu
Bafometovi, pa-bozikovi templarov.

Po vyvolani pohanskeho boha mu najprv velmajster, potom knazi, a napokon ostatni prominentni clenovia templarskeho radu bozali zadnicu, aby vyvolali hada Kundaliniho. Riekli pri tom slova modlitby, z ktorej vyberam utrzky:

‘Abinore hres za nas… Ammone, smiluj se nad nami… Samaeli, osvobod nas od vseho dobreho… Beliale, smiluj se… Focalore, dbej o mou zkazu… Habyryme, zatracujeme Pana… Zaebe, otevri zadnici…Leonarde, potrisni me svym semenem a ucin necistym…’

Bafomet potom templarom odhalil niektore tajomstva Tellurickych prudov, ritualne zabil jedneho z templarskych knazov (pre ktoreho to bola obrovska cest), a v sycani siry zmizol z kruhu.

Po skonceni ritualu sa templari opat rozisli do vsetkych kutov sveta, aby riadili nas kazdodenny zivot, posilneni vikendovym esoterickym zazitkom.

TOTO MUSI SKONCIT… ale proti tomu sa neda bojovat, zijem v strachu.

Peron vam zehnaj ostatnym, co drzia straz.

Filthy templars burn on a stake

My house, my rules...

#1 – The first rule of Fight Club is, you do not talk about Fight Club.

As I already knew that Agata was an extremely busy altruist, I was surprised to find out that she came to our meeting with a handfull of sheets of papers, scribled with methodical, small writing (which indicated a well organized yet complex mind). These papers were in fact a collection of hundreds of brilliant ideas regarding our project.

“I keep generating new ideas as I wash old people’s bodies in the hospital” – she explained.

Our meeting was brief and strictly to the point, as Agata had an appointment in an orphanage later that day.

“I read religious books to little children every Thursday” – she commented.

We agreed further progress on the project and our paths split again.

———————–
I have received the draft version of the report the same night via fax in my hotel room in Kalkata. Perhaps it was unjust to call it draft. Not only did it resemble a final version, polished by tens of hours of partner reviews, it was also miraculously binded straight from the fax. The report was flawless, ready to be handed over to the client.
———————–

The client was comfortably sipping coffee in his armchair.

“Your report helped us made some very important, and it is needed to say, very good decisions. You surely must have employed an army of extremely bright and experienced consultants.”

“And yet it is a result of an effort of a single person” – I replied.

“Impossible!” – gasped the client.
———————–

Every morning, before coming to work sharp at 7:45, Agata streamlines her diary. There is a lot to be accomplished every day. Because there is no such thing, as a wasted minute for Agata. But perhaps the hardest challenge for her is to find some precious time for herself. When she manages that feat, she either composes music, plays harp, writes poetry or chisels statues for sick children.
———————–

Her promotion is only a matter of time.

Background

Agata, a consultant in Warsaw office,  a lady in distress, in search for people to do her performance appraisal at the end of financial year. THIS kind of thing can influence (and will influence) one’s salary. I may have never seen Agata before but I decided to help her out with this performance appraisal which I have sent to her Senior Manager.

She was not fired till this day.